In addition to serving as SMI's managing editor, Matt Bell is the author of several books on finances, including Trusted: Preparing Your Kids for a Lifetime of God-Honoring Money Management, published in April by Focus on the Family.
During two recent appearances on radio's Faith & Finance program, Matt talked about how parents can guide their children toward becoming good stewards. We've posted those segments below (scroll down for the transcripts).
Faith & Finance with host Rob West airs each weekday morning on American Family Radio. A different version airs on weekday afternoons on Moody Radio.
Transcript – pt. one
Rob West:
Teaching kids to handle money wisely is a valuable gift. Teaching them to honor God with their money is priceless.
Hi, I'm Rob West. Proverbs 22:6 reads, "Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it." Today I'll talk with Matt Bell about "training up" your children to handle money in a way that honors the Lord.
This is Faith & Finance on American Family Radio — biblical wisdom for your financial journey. (theme music ends)
Well, my friend Matt Bell is our guest today. He's the managing editor at Sound Mind Investing, an underwriter of this program. He's the author of several books on personal finance as well. And his latest, published by Focus on the Family, is just out. I'm so excited about it. It's titled Trusted Preparing Your Kids for a Lifetime of God-Honoring Money Management. And isn't that something we all want?
Matt, great to have you with us.
Matt Bell:
Rob. Great to be with you.
Rob West:
Well, so the first part of your book's title, Matt, is trusted. I'd love to start there today. what does that mean when it comes to teaching kids to honor God with his resources?
Matt Bell:
Yeah. The title comes from Luke 16:10, which says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much."
And, really, it traces back to the very first parenting class that my wife Jude and I ever took in our church back when we used to live in Chicago. There was an associate pastor, Keith and his wife Caroline, who taught about parenting. And we were about to have our first child.
They used the metaphor of a funnel. They said that when a kid is super little, super young, the funnel is really tight, right? We're making all the decisions for them — what they're gonna wear, what they're gonna eat. But as they get older, we should start teaching them and trusting them with more and more responsibility. The funnel opens up wider and wider. And as they prove themselves trustworthy, we continue down that path.
And so that's really the essence and the framework used in the book.
Rob West:
Now let's just talk about the importance of this. Matt, you and I know this is a critical skill that we need to teach our kids — not only on the literacy side, but really God's heart as it relates to money. But why? Why is it so important?
Matt Bell:
Because, on the one hand, there's so much at stake here. And also, on the other hand, because there's so much opportunity here, so much potential.
I say there's so much at stake here, Rob, because it isn't that if we don't teach our kids about money, they won't learn. They will learn, but the culture, our consumer culture will be their teacher. And that's not the greatest idea.
And there's also so much potential here because if you think about the idea of compounding — you know, people usually think of compounding when they think of investing, and it's a very, very powerful idea that can really multiply money over time — but I love to think about that same power of compounding in all areas of finance.
So you get a young child who catches a vision for generosity and starts to build some habits and practices of giving toward God's kingdom work in this world, and the way that God could multiply that over their lifetime is just impossible for us to fully imagine. Or a young person who develops a generally healthy relationship with God and money, how that'll flow into his relationship with his future wife, how it'll impact his lifelong relationship with Christ, how that will free him to make the difference with his life he was designed to make.
I just love the potential of getting kids at an early age started in the right direction financially.
Rob West:
Obviously, a lot of parents are struggling with their own finances. They don't see their own finances as being in order, and therefore they're hesitant to teach on the topic because of that. How would you counsel them?
Matt Bell:
I would say for one thing none of us ever get the money thing fully right. We're all in process to some degree, and so be encouraged that you don't have to have your finances completely perfect in order to do this.
But secondly, in each of the really practical chapters in the book, I spend the first portion speaking directly to parents because it is important for us to serve as role models. And so as long as we're in the game, we're learning, we're continuing to apply biblical principles to our own finances, that's really the goal.
Rob West:
I'd like to pick up on your story, Matt. You grew up not knowing you had to work to earn money, but something happened in your 20s. Why don't you tell us that story?
Matt Bell:
Yeah, something very life-changing. Totally unexpectedly, I received an inheritance of $60,000 from an uncle who passed away. I saw it as this incredible, probably once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and so I wanted to make the most of it.
I created my dream job out of that money. I created a newsletter for golfers who take golf vacations, which was this great excuse to go play Pebble Beach and some other courses that I wanted to play. I was having the time of my life.
But the one thing that was not true at that time was that the business was successful. It was not successful. But I was so acclimated to that great life I was living and so blind to what was happening with the money that when the actual money ran out, I kept funding that life on credit cards — and eventually got myself in a lot of trouble with credit cards.
Moved home with my parents for a time — it really was what I like to describe as the unintentional reenactment of the Bible's Parable of the Prodigal Son.
But through that experience of returning home, a good friend from college reached out, shared his faith. Ultimately, it's what God used to draw me into a relationship with him and to introduce me ultimately to my life's work.
Rob West:
Hmm. That's powerful. What were some of the biggest takeaways?
Matt Bell:
I remember reading the Parable of the Talents as a new Christian in my late 20s. And that was so profound for me because anybody that's around stewardship circles, they kind of take it for granted. And it's easy to do that.
But it was so profound for me to see what is my relationship with God and money to be — that God is the owner, he temporarily entrusts, generously entrusts everything that we have to our care, and we are to manage it wisely. We're to manage it according to his principles and for his purposes. And that was a profoundly new way of looking at money for me.
Rob West:
Well, it really is. And it's a great approach when we think about passing these lessons on to our kids. Now, in the book, Matt, you encourage parents to "start small" — and I assume that means for both children and the lessons you want to teach them, right?
Matt Bell:
Yeah, that's right. I mean, if you think about generosity — so John Rockefeller, one of the wealthiest people that ever lived, he, he apparently once said that he never could have tithed on his first million dollars if he hadn't tithed on his first salary, which was $1.50 a week. And that's a good lesson.
So, you know, sometimes people wake up in their — like I did in my late 20s — and come to faith and start to read what the Bible teaches about generosity. And it's kind of hard to just go from zero to, you know, where the Bible is challenging us to give at a very generous level. But for a kid to grow up with that being normal for them — that they we're gonna honor the Lord with the first portion, the first fruits of all that they receive — that's such a helpful thing to get that from the get-go.
Rob West:
Now, one of the challenges for parents you write about Matt, is this idea of growing up in a "target market." What do you mean by that?
Matt Bell:
Yeah, I mean, marketing is just all around us. It's in the air we breathe. You know, it used to be that marketing messages, advertising messages, were much easier to see.
They would interrupt a television program that we're watching, for example. But now it's just woven into the fabric of everyday life, and so it's a little bit harder to see it, to notice it. And that makes it all the more powerful because we're just taking it in all the time. And so social media — that's marketing on steroids, you know, that's the comparison game on steroids.
And so it's really important for us to teach our kids when they're super young to identify, "Okay, this is a marketing message and this is programming." Because very young kids don't even understand the distinction there.
And then, as they grow older, for us to help them navigate that, help them unpack the messages. So is this message true? Is this product being promoted for its functional benefits, its value, its quality? Or is there something larger being conveyed there that may not be true that ties it to our identity and self-worth?
Rob West:
Mmm. Let's talk about that a bit more 'cause that's so important, especially this world that our kids are growing up in. You talk about in this same section, "the greatest identity theft ever." Unpack that for our listeners.
Matt Bell:
Yeah. In the — I think it's around the 1920s or so, or the early 1900s — that the word "consumer" came into popular use. Prior to that time, people were talked about as "workers" or "citizens." But that word "consumer" — you know, we hear it so much now that we just take it for granted. But if you look it up, you'll probably be a little offended to be called a consumer. Because to consume literally means "to use up and to waste and to squander."
It's important to understand that that's not who God made us to be. God made us to be stewards or managers of his resources.
So I like to encourage us to understand that and to teach it to our kids because these two different identities — the consumer versus the steward — come with a very different set of assumptions about our life purposes.
The consumer believes that life is all about me — my pleasure, my comfort, my happiness. Whereas God's word teaches us that life is about God. The consumer believes that money and things are the causes of happiness, whereas God's Word conveys that our relationships are the causes of happiness.
And the consumer believes that life is a competition to have more, whereas God's word teaches us that life is about contribution — to use our gifts and talents and passions to make a difference in the world.
Rob West:
You mentioned social media. What advice would you offer for our listeners today as they help their kids navigate social media as it relates to money management?
Matt Bell:
I would say a couple of things. I talk about different parenting roles in the book. And one of those important roles is the "gatekeeper" — which is hard sometimes as parents to say no and to set up the rules. But it's really important for us to set some boundaries around the use of screens in general, and then more specifically around social media — to be willing to be that "odd" family that does not allow screens to be in bedrooms, for example, or doesn't allow the use of certain social media platforms, or when we do start to allow it, that we're intentional in talking to our kids about how to do it wisely.
And I'll tell you, there's a great documentary out, that's widely available, called The Social Dilemma. And if people will watch that with their kids that'll be a very powerful experience. We watched it with our kids, and they ended up making some choices about their use of screens and social media that we hadn't even put on them <laugh> — and we had some rules and regs around that, but they saw that, and something about that documentary convicted them to take some additional steps.
Rob West:
Well, we have just barely scratched the service. There is so much more to talk about in this book. So Matt, will you come back in a few weeks and go over the rest of this?
Matt Bell:
I would be more than happy to Rob.
Rob West:
Matt Bell's been our guest today. You can read a lot more about this in his book. It's called Trusted Preparing Your Kids for a Lifetime of God-Honoring Money Management.
I'm Rob West, and this is Faith & Finance on American Family Radio. We'll be right back with much more just around the corner. Stick around.
Transcript – pt. two
Rob West:
Hi, I'm Rob West. We are all "fearfully and wonderfully made," but not all alike! And those differences dictate how we do a lot of things.
Matt Bell joins us again today to talk about how those differences can affect the way our kids manage money.
This is Faith & Finance on American Family Radio — biblical wisdom for your financial decisions. (theme music ends)
Well, our guest Matt Bell is the managing editor at Sound Mind Investing and the author of several books on personal finance — including his latest, Trusted: Preparing Your Kids for a Lifetime of God Honoring Money Management. And don't we all want to do that?
Matt, great to have you back with us.
Matt Bell:
Rob, it's great to be with you.
Rob West:
So, Matt, we started this conversation last month in the program that aired on April 10th, but there's much more in your book that, of course, we didn't get to. So I want to pick up the conversation today with temperaments, which you write a lot about.
Let's start there. How do temperaments affect the way we and our kids manage money?
Matt Bell:
Temperament is a huge factor. It's probably the most underrated, under-appreciated factor that influences how we manage money, and then how our kids will end up managing money as well.
In essence, temperament is our nature — it's our bent, it's kind of the way we come at life. And it goes a long way toward explaining all kinds of things — from why some people have a hard time saving and others tend to save too much, why some people are willing to take a lot of risk in their investments and others really prefer to keep it kind of safe.
And so it's such a big factor that identifying our temperament and understanding some of the tendencies — some of the strengths and weaknesses — that are inherent in each of these temperaments is really essential if we're to learn to play to our strengths and manage around some of the weaknesses.
Rob West:
Now, Matt, you write about four of these temperaments, and let's go through them. We might recognize these in ourselves and our kids. The first is "sanguine." So tell us about that.
Matt Bell:
Sure, yeah. The sanguine temperament is that likable, outgoing, charming, life-of-the-party sort of person. Financially, they tend to be naturally very generous. But they don't tend to like to use a budget. They'd rather be out doing things with friends than crunching some numbers!
Tim LaHaye, the late Tim LaHaye — pastor and author — he wrote a lot about temperament. He said he never met a sanguine accountant.
Rob West:
<laugh>. Yes, that's important to understand. I think we're all quickly formulating in our minds the people maybe ourselves, that fit into that category.
All right. The next on the list is "choleric" — not to be confused with colic, which has to do with our kids as well. What does that temperament look like?
Matt Bell:
Yeah, that's right. So the choleric temperament tends to be the person that's the hard-charging "Type A" sort of person.
Financially, they tend to be really good at setting and accomplishing tough goals, but they can also put too much trust in money. And they can also — they're kind of task-oriented, not so people-oriented. So they may have a tendency to run people over in their pursuit of their financial goals.
Rob West:
Yeah, that's helpful. And by the way, we're gonna talk about how each of these should approach their money management.
Let's move on. The next one is "melancholy." And by the way, none of these terms sound very much fun, <laugh>, but what do we need to know about this one?
Matt Bell:
Yeah, melancholy sounds sort of dour, right? But that's the term for it. And so the person with the melancholy temperament tends to be very detail-oriented. They're even perfectionistic in some cases.
These strange birds actually like to use a budget — and I can say it that way because melancholy is my primary temperament type. While they're meticulous planners, really good at using budgets, they can also succumb to fear of making a bad decision, which can make them slow to make decisions.
Rob West:
Mm. Yeah. That's helpful. And then "phlegmatic." What are the signs for that?
Matt Bell:
The phlegmatics are those even-keeled "steady plodders in the world." They tend to be savers of money and stuff — [if] you've got a closet full of stuff [and] you've got a bank account full of a lot of savings, you might be phlegmatic.
While they're very reliable — so really great, steady workers — their "saver" mentality can make it hard for them to give.
Rob West:
How does, Matt, knowing the temperaments of our kids, help us to help them in managing money in a way that honors the Lord?
Matt Bell:
First of all, a temperament will start to emerge, we'll start to be able to identify a temperament in one of our kids — at around age 12 or 13 is when we could actually have them take an assessment, which I've got in the book. And so parents can do this, the kids can do this. You can talk about it and try to kind of sort out what is your primary and secondary temperament.
But let's say you've got a kid who has a primary sanguine temperament — that's the, if you remember, the outgoing kind of life-of-the-party, extroverted sort of person. We could encourage them, perhaps as they start thinking about after-school jobs, get one that involves working with others, not working alone. That'll really fill their tank and motivate them to stay with that sort of work.
And because they don't tend to take to the use of a detailed budget, we can encourage them to manage the money that they're earning by using the envelope system — a really big picture, very visual sort of system.
Or you take a child that has a choleric temperament — that's the hard-charging, "Type A" sort. We can encourage them to hone their negotiating skills because they'll naturally be really good at that. So take 'em to the garage sales. It's a great place to practice.
But, as you recall, they tend to be more task-oriented than people-oriented. So we could also encourage them to be sort of mindful of how other people are responding to them — make sure they aren't running over people in pursuit of the best deal. And, ultimately, you want both sides to feel good about a negotiation once it's over.
Rob West:
Oh, that's really helpful. And I think understanding these temperaments is so key. By the way, if you wanna try to unpack your kids' temperaments and then know specific ideas on how to guide them this resource would be wonderful. Pick up a copy of the book Trusted today.
Matt, let's move on and talk about financial habits. You know, developing habits is so key to just being a functioning adult, but it's certainly key in this area of financial management. In the book, you talk about "three components to habit formation." I'd love for you to unpack those for us today.
Matt Bell:
Yeah, that's right, Rob. So it's really essential if we want certain habits to stick with our kids, it's really important to see — to take this sort of comprehensive approach to cultivating those habits. And so I talk about Heart, Head, and Hands.
"Heart" is worldview. That's our love for Christ, our identity as stewards of God's resources. You know, the Bible says, "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." So much of our behavior flows out of our heart. So heart is the first element.
"Head" is the second. That's knowledge. So that's knowledge of God's word. So, we teach our kids, you know, verses like, "In the house of the wise, there are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish person devours all that they have."
And then knowledge is also, "How do I put that into practice in a really practical way?" So we teach them about the options such as an online bank to keep their savings.
And then "Hands" is — it has to do with doing real things with real money, preferably their money, in the real world.
And it's really important to use all three because they all build on each other, they all reinforce each other. You can't just get two of them without the third if we want to cultivate habits within our kids that are really gonna stay with them.
Rob West:
Matt, how have you seen this work itself out with your own kids as you teach these ideas of habit formation?
Matt Bell:
Yeah, it's been a really fun process of discovery. I almost feel apologetic. I've had to use our kids as sort of a living laboratory <laugh>. But hopefully haven't done too much damage.
But it's little things. It's like — okay, we teach a diligent work ethic. We teach them how to mow the lawn. We teach them how to care for the lawnmower.
We teach them some of the "doing" things related to the work that they do around the house. We want them to do it with excellence without complaint.
But we also want to tie it to the bigger picture, to their faith, to what God's word teaches us — that whatever we do, do all things, you know, with excellence as "working for the Lord, not for human masters." And so we want them to take that motivation from God's word.
So we're teaching them — they're actually doing it and getting that hands-on experience. And we're cultivating that, "Hey, this all comes not from mom and dad, but this comes really from God's word."
Rob West:
Matt, you write about "the most important money lesson of all" in your book. I'd love for you to share that with our listeners today.
Matt Bell:
Sure. It's living with an awareness, Rob, that this is not our home and that even the greatest experiences in this world will never fully satisfy us.
Now, that may sound like bad news. It's not bad news. It's helpful news because when we see the things of this world from that perspective, it frees us to stop looking to them for things that they're not capable of delivering — such as meaning and satisfaction.
And it enables us to see them for what they really are. They're wonderful, beautiful gifts from God who loves us and sees us as his children. And, in some cases, you could even really see this as little glimpses of heaven as we experience some of the greatest experiences of this world. But they're not the basis of our identity, our self-worth, or ultimate joy.
And so if we can teach that perspective and our kids what a benefit that will be for their whole lives.
You know, I love how one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge, summed all this up. He said, "The key is to deeply enjoy what there is now to enjoy as we wait with eager anticipation for the true feast that is yet to come." If our kids can gain that perspective, that will serve them well for their entire lives.
Rob West:
Well, there's no doubt it will. This is, of course, a real challenge, Matt. I mean, they're constantly being bombarded with pursuit of the temporal. I mean, social media is right in their face every day with the "best version" of people's lives. They're getting caught up in the comparison trap. They're finding their identity in things.
How do we counteract that and cultivate this eternal perspective with this barrage that's coming at them culturally?
Matt Bell:
You're right. That's a huge challenge. And never more so than today because of factors like you're mentioning, such as social media. And so we need to help them understand the truth of who they are. If they've placed their faith in Christ, they are children of God. They're not the brands of clothing they wear or the type of car they'll drive one day.
And we need to cultivate and help them meditate and write the truth of God's word on their hearts so that the messages of this world don't have so much space to get into those hearts.
And then I think another really huge factor is gratitude. The culture in so many ways fosters a sense of discontentedness — it encourages us to buy more, it tells us we don't have enough and that we are not enough, and that our kids don't have enough and that our kids are not enough. And yet, if we can practice that habit of gratitude, of giving thanks for all the many blessings in life, that is one of the strongest antidotes to the messages of our consumer culture.
Rob West:
Obviously, generosity breaks the grip of money over our lives. So how do we cultivate that gift of giving?
Matt Bell:
Yeah. I think, again, it goes back to teaching. So we're teaching God's word that part of this is obedience, but part of it is that we are designed in God's image and God is infinitely generous. And so to live generously is to live in concert with our design.
We're teaching that to our kids. We're encouraging them to give towards certain God-honoring causes, to give to our church and to other ministries that God puts on our heart.
And we're helping kids kind of map it onto something real. I love to help kids make the connection of the real impact that their generosity dollars are having — whether that's exchanging letters with the child that we support halfway around the world, or it's seeing the impact that our own church is having in our local community.
Rob West:
Matt, unfortunately, that's all we have time for today, but you've really helped us think about how we can equip our kids to be wise stewards of God's money. Thanks for stopping by.
Matt Bell:
It's my pleasure, Rob.
Rob West:
That's Matt Bell, managing editor at Sound Mind Investing. His book is Trusted, Preparing Your Kids for a Lifetime of God-Honoring Money Management.
Much more to come just around the corner. Stick around.
