A remarkable woman died in early April. She was my mother.
By God’s grace, Mom stayed in reasonably good health until the last six months of her 89+ years. However, it became clear around her birthday last November that the slow, steady decline of aging was picking up speed.
In early November, Mom was still driving herself to the community aquatic center for her regular water aerobics. However, later that month, when my wife and I visited her around Thanksgiving, we noticed she had become increasingly unsteady.
A few weeks later, her worsening unsteadiness and increased disorientation led to her being hospitalized for tests and observation. She then spent two weeks in a rehab facility, where she seemed to improve slightly. Still, it was clear she could no longer live at home.
For years, Mom had shared stories about an assisted-living facility where she had many friends, so we decided to move her there, hoping she would continue to regain her strength and mental clarity. However, within a few weeks (days, really), my sister and I saw that Mom was not improving and sensed that she needed a different type of care than a large corporate assisted-living facility offered.
A divine appointment
With heavy hearts, we started the process of visiting area nursing homes, looking for a place for Mom. Some had long waiting lists, and others lacked in atmosphere and staffing.
Then, the Lord arranged a “divine appointment.” One of my mother’s friends had heard about a “personal care home” (PCH) in the area. My sister and I weren’t familiar with care homes, so we did some research and discovered that many such facilities are available nationwide. Usually, these are once-private residences that have been re-purposed and equipped to care for a small number of ill people, typically those nearing the end of their earthly journey.
We visited the care home recommended to us, where we discovered a cheerful atmosphere and a small, gracious staff. Interestingly, the home was right across the street from a neighborhood where my mom and dad had lived for nearly 20 years (on the southside of Atlanta, Ga.), so my sister and I knew the area well.
In just a few days, we were able to move Mom into the personal care home. It became the place where she would spend her final months, enjoying homemade meals, good music (my mother was a musician), and visits from family and friends.
‘A middle ground’
Choosing an elder-care option for a loved one can be difficult. Every choice has advantages and disadvantages, and the decision largely depends on the level of care needed and financial considerations. Still, my sister and I can say without reservation that we were blessed to discover that a personal care home was such a good fit for our mother’s needs.
As I mentioned earlier, a care home wasn’t even on our radar when Mom’s rapid decline started late last year. I knew nothing about them. But here’s what I found out during my research. Maybe some of this will help you, too.
Personal care homes, also called “residential care homes,” “group homes,” or “board and care homes,” are usually licensed by the state, so their legal definitions can differ slightly from one state to another. However, here is a general overview from an elder law website:
A Personal Care Home (PCH) is a residential facility providing assistance to individuals who need help with daily activities but do not require the level of medical care found in nursing homes....
PCHs offer services such as meal preparation, grooming assistance, and medication management. Residents benefit from 24-hour staff support and engage in social and recreational activities, creating a sense of community. These homes serve as a middle ground between independent living and more intensive care options.
Many care homes are located in residential neighborhoods, and they radiate a “homey” rather than an “institutional” feel. The place we found for my mother had a well-lit kitchen, a cozy dining room, a sunroom in the back, and a large deck facing a wooded area.
Later, we discovered that Georgia has hundreds of licensed personal care homes, all listed in a searchable state-run online database. Several other states have similar listings (search “personal care homes,” “residential care,” or “group homes” and the name of your state). Also, the for-profit senior-care-referral site A Place for Mom has a searchable database of care homes across the U.S. (To access the information, you must provide your name, email address, and phone number.)
What it costs
The monthly cost of a care home varies by state and location, but a recent survey by A Place for Mom reported the national average as $4,200 overall — $5,000 for a private room and $4,000 for a semi-private room. In our case, the price for the care home we selected was similar to nearby assisted-living facilities but significantly less than area nursing homes.
However, while most nursing homes said they would accept Medicaid payments if my mother’s financial resources declined enough to qualify, the personal care home would not. It was a “private pay” facility, meaning we had to pay a significant amount out of pocket each month. Thankfully, the Lord provided what we needed.
Weigh all the options
Choosing an elder care option for a loved one is a complex and emotional decision. Naturally, it can also have a significant financial impact. It’s a choice best made prayerfully and possibly with guidance from an elder law professional.
There is no single “best” option that fits every situation. But as you weigh your choices, be sure to consider not only in-home care, corporate assisted living facilities, and nursing homes, but also small, privately run personal care homes. A care home might be what your aging loved one needs.
