This tongue-in-cheek editorial from 2011 contains more investing lessons than might be apparent at first glance. I explain the analogies for the first two points. See if you can pick up on the investing reminders in points 3 through 6. – Austin Pryor
What’s with the title? Okay. I admit it. I’m not thinking completely straight right now. We’re only three days away from our annual departure for the Carolina beaches(!), and everything on today’s “to do” list — which includes writing this editorial — is colored by that happy realization. Pretty soon, Susie and I will be at Kiawah Island having, if history is any guide, a really great time.
Going to the beach is not only fun, but it’s also where I learned a lot of commonsense investing basics. For example, I’ve learned to...
- …make sure the basics are covered.
I can’t just leave for the beach anytime I want. To help assure we can stay the course and not have to return sooner than planned, important work must be done first. Accommodations secured? Check. Housesitter hired? Check. Extra cash to cover unexpected expenses? Check. If I want to have peace of mind during my trip, these tedious preparations must be made before I leave. (Ditto the financial basics, such as getting debt-free and saving for future needs before setting off on any grand investing adventure.)
- …devise my travel plan and stick with it.
The plan: Set my GPS so I know the way. Leave on time. Drive safely. And don’t take any unplanned detours. (What, no spontaneous stops to see Rock City?!) Now, this may sound like a boring trip to you. But the idea isn’t that the drive needs to be particularly interesting. Instead, the goal is that we arrive safely and on time. (I feel the same way about reaching my retirement goals. I’ll gladly trade an exciting journey for a safe and timely arrival. That means following my personalized stock/bond allocation plan, with plenty of diversification. )
- …be patient when a tan is your goal.
I don’t go for those high-risk get-tanned-quick strategies. It’s too easy to get burned. I’ve learned to keep my tanning strategy simple. All those tanning magazines, seminars, websites, and cable television programs by tanning gurus can be confusing. Tanning really isn’t all that complicated. If you follow the basics and don’t try to do too much too soon, you won’t go wrong.
- …ignore short-term wave patterns.
I like to read on the beach, with my low-slung chair right at the water’s edge. The trick is to move my chair from time to time so I don’t get soaked by the incoming waves. Although there is a trend, I’ve learned it’s impossible to predict what a particular incoming wave will do. I may think it’s going to stop three feet away only to get drenched. Short-term, the waves are completely erratic, but longer-term they’re predictable. So I’ve learned to plan my moves based on what I know about the tide charts and what has worked in the past, not what the waves may be doing at the moment.
- …not compare myself with others.
This can be hard. I’m hardly an imposing figure on the beach. It’d be great to look like some of the other men I see there. But, I remind myself, my beach diet/workout strategy is tailored to who I am — an older guy trying to balance my beach prep life with my family life, work life, church life, and so on. It would be a mistake to abandon my measured steady-as-you-go schedule and follow a more aggressive one designed for younger men. I’d only end up hurting myself.
- …expect a few rainy days.
We’ll be there for two weeks, so it’s only natural to expect a summer shower or two during that time. Even if a heavy thunderstorm shows up, we don’t abandon our plans and pack for home. We knew ahead of time this might happen and had a backup strategy for weathering the storm — that’s why we take the video and board games along. We’re committed for the entire two weeks! Nor do we despair that the storm is going to lead to another Great Flood. Instead, we settle in, enjoy playing the games, and look forward to the next sunny day.
Whoops, looks like my time’s up for now. If you want more of these profound investing insights, you’ll have to make your own trip to the beach. You might be surprised at the lessons awaiting you there. Now, where’s that list? Ah, here it is: Write editorial for June issue. Check.